


What (if) happened to no fear?

by Blackrider



Category: Selfie (TV)
Genre: F/M, WARNING: there's a really, he doesnt but the consideration is there so please be aware of that, really brief line where Henry considers hurting himself with a glass shard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:48:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3335657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackrider/pseuds/Blackrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Post-finale, Henry decides he's going to finally go after Eliza, but she is killed in a car accident and he has to come to terms with her death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What (if) happened to no fear?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bs13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bs13/gifts).



> for bs13!

What happened to no fear?

The question echoed in his head on his way home, when he lay in bed, trying to fall asleep. His arm hurt, but he had painkillers for that. 

What happened to no fear? 

Should he- but she’s happy with Freddy. They have a relationship, she met his parents. They seemed serious. He shouldn’t get in the way of her happiness. She wasn’t interested anymore. But. Maybe. 

No fear. 

What could he lose by telling her? Really, she had confessed to him, kind of. And they had remained friends. Maybe he could tell her and if she said no… well at least he’d know.  
No fear indeed. Henry smiled, having made his decision, nodded at his ceiling. He’d tell her tomorrow morning, first thing. 

Henry tried calling her. Three times, she wasn’t answering his calls. Was she angry? He hadn’t done anything to make her angry at him. At least that he knew of.  
He went to work. And said good morning to Charmonique, who was… crying? 

“Charmonique, what’s wrong?” 

“Oh, Henry! Don’t tell me- god. You don’t know?” She hiccupped. “It’s Eliza she… there was a car accident.”

Henry felt sick to his stomach. This couldn’t be real. Not today. Not today. “What happened?” Henry heard himself ask. 

“Apparently she and Freddy went out and took a taxi home. The driver sped a red light and… they got hit.”

“Is she-“

“She died in the hospital, yesterday.” 

“How do you know, why wasn’t I?“ A tear rolled off his cheek. He was crying. 

“Someone called in; her emergency number is the front desk phone.” Charmonique had stopped crying for the moment. 

Henry’s eyes stung, more and more tears came streaming down his face. “What, what about Freddy and the taxi driver, are they?”

“I don’t know.” Charmonique started crying again, quietly this time.

People were looking at them strangely, they hadn’t heard yet. They would, sooner or later. Henry stumbled away into his office, closed and locked the door. He poured himself a drink. His hands were trembling when he put the glass to his lips. The liquor burned down his throat. He said down heavily in his chair. 

Thousands of ‘what if’s crossed his mind and he indulged in them. What if he’d try to tell her yesterday evening, would she not have gone out? What if the taxi driver hadn’t been a usual taxi driver but more careful? What if they hadn’t gone out at all? What if he’d confessed at the karaoke event? What if? What if? What if?

He refilled his glass until there was nothing left to refill it then threw the glass against the wall.

That got people knocking at his door. Concerned ‘Henry?’s were called through the door. He didn’t care, he needed them all to go away, to leave, to just let him stay and … he looked at the sharp glass shards. 

No. 

He wouldn’t. He shook himself, retied his tie, and made himself presentable again. 

The door was opened just as he rubbed his hands through his face again and he turned to see who it was. His boss. Fantastic. He hoped he wouldn’t get fired over this.

“I think it’s time I go home, sir, I don’t feel so well.” 

His boss was quiet for a moment. “Yes, of course, I can call you a-“ He interrupted himself. Henry just smiled tightly. 

“It’s fine, I came with my own car anyway.” He wouldn’t get into another taxi any time soon.

“I know this must be hard for you. Take care. Take off as many days as you need.” 

Henry left, ignoring the stares he was met with, turning deaf at the whispers. He nodded to himself when he saw that Charmonique’s desk was being covered by someone else. She must’ve gone or be sent home hours ago. 

He sat in his car for a few minutes, just breathing. He got out and went home instead of driving. It took him an hour to finally get home and he slumps onto his bed. His thoughts from last night seem so far away now. It hasn’t even been 12 hours. 

What about Eliza’s parents? Henry thinks, and is surprised to notice that he hasn’t really heard much about them from Eliza. He knows her sister though. Maybe he should-  
Henry got up to look through his phone, but realised he didn’t have the number. He went to the telephone book he still possessed. “Dooley… Dooley – Wait, she’s married isn’t she? Dammit!” He throws the telephone book away. 

Facebook, it seemed, was his last possibility of contacting Eliza’s sister. 

Thank God Eliza organised her facebook more than her apartment. 

He sent a message of condolences, thinking about asking about a funeral, deciding it’s too early for that. Henry doesn’t sleep that night. Not for more than a few minutes here and there when he simply passes out. 

 

It’s bright outside, the sun was shining. It’s a beautiful day by all means. Henry hated it. Why couldn’t there be rain and thunder? Why did it have to be so nice outside when Eliza was dead and- 

He looked at his phone, three missed calls. It’s not a number he recognizes, but his phone is ringing again. “Henry Higgs, who am I speaking to?” 

“It’s Bethany – Eliza’s sister. I know you two were… close.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Listen, I hate to ask this, but would you help organising the funeral? I would ask Freddy, but he’s still unconscious.”

Freddy was alive. Freddy lived while Eliza is dead. Why couldn’t he be the one… “Of course I’ll help. What do you want me to do?” 

“Would you- I mean let’s be honest, I don’t… I didn’t know Eliza all that well, especially these past few months. And if you could- I mean, if it’s no problem…”

“You want me to hold the Eulogy?” 

“Yes.” Bethany’s voice screams relief at his understanding. 

“I’ll do it.” Henry didn’t know why he said yes, but he did, without thinking about it. 

“Thank you. It would be a great help. Do you know flowers?”

“I- yes. A little bit.”

“It would be wonderful if you could organise some. Maybe one for everyone to-“ Her voice breaks then. And Henry responded quickly.

“Of course.”

“Thank you. I’ll write you the details.”

Henry looked through the internet to find flowers that Eliza would’ve liked for the next hours, finding some, finds them inadequate and scrolls and clicks until his fingers feel slightly sore. He starts crying again, he can’t breathe, he’s lying on the floor, sobbing. 

“Henry?!” 

Julia? Henry breathes deeply- tries to, anyway. And Julia is standing above him, looking slightly freaked out. I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m okay. Henry wants to say, but can’t. 

“Jesus, Henry. Okay. Listen to my voice, you’re having a panic attack. Breathe in.” 

Gulp.

“Breathe out. Good.” 

It takes a few minutes. 

“Julia, what are you?”

“I heard about Eliza, Charmonique called me, she was worried.”

“I’m…”

“If you tell me you’re okay, I will-“

Henry smiles briefly. “I’m not okay. Eliza’s… she was.”

“I know.”

“I have to write a eulogy and get flowers.”

“Well. Write the eulogy. Take bright happy flowers. Eliza seemed to be the kind that liked bright things.” 

“Yes. Sunflowers?”

“Sunflowers sound wonderful. Maybe roses?”

“White and red ones.”

“I’ll order them, go drink some water.”

Henry did as he was told, drinking the water in small sips. His throat was burning. 

 

“Writing this was harder for me than anything I’ve ever done. I haven’t lost many people in my life and no one as important to me as Eliza. I loved her, as a good friend, and I admired her. She was by no means perfect. But then again, neither am I- so. Yes. She was fun and important and how could you not like her? She was weird in a good way. She was my best friend, which, let’s be honest, I did not expect. She came to me because she wanted to learn how to… how to get real friends. And she made friends. She showed me – showed us all, that she’s more than a pretty ditzy girl who has a lot of Facebook friends and twitter followers and whatever social media she was on as well. She was that, but she was also the woman who inspired me to try new things, to be brave. And most importantly, she made me realise that the easy way out isn’t the best way to do things. I am sad that I realised this too late. I wish she was still with us today so that I could tell her myself. She was taken from all of us too early. Thank you for coming today.”


End file.
